Thursday, December 11, 2008

We've Only Just Begun

So Critical Theory class is just about over.

I don't know if I'm happy or sad about that.

I do know (except for the fact, though it can't be a fact as the rest of this paranthetical statement will momentarily require, that I know nothing) that, as we've mentioned in class several times, my experience with theory will now never be over. Once the propeller got moving, it wasn't going to stop. I think I was always a little bit analytical, but throwing terminology and history of theory into that weird thing that may at some level operate me (but what is me anyway?...bahahaha...) has had a relatively profound effect on the way I look at the world. I am taking a break from writing my final based on The Onion article found here: , and to be quite honest, it frightens me. Immensely. I do not want to lose myself (oh the theoretical opportunities that sentence allows...however my desire [and that term for that matter] NOT to lose myself, whatever that means, will, for the time being, prevent me from exploring them right here and right now) to that extent but I think that it might be ineveitable. The deeper and deeper I go in studying this stuff, the more and more I feel like I am doomed, and the less and less I care.

Is this a good thing?

There is no good.

Is that a good thing?

Oh goddammit.

I don't know if it is or isn't. And whether or not that's a good thing is also up in the air, probably because, as I already asserted, there is no good.

It's been a good semester.

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